Living the priesthood

“What is great about life is not what we do for God but what God does for us.” On occasions like today, I dwell on thoughts like this. God has, indeed, been good to me every single day of my life. He has given me life. He has caused me to be in a beautiful family, who taught me what it means to love and be loved. He has sown and brought to fruition the seed of priestly vocation in me; he has given me the gift of the priesthood and has sustained me for four beautiful years. Through me, he has touched the lives of many souls. These are great things I need to thank God for.

One of the first messages I received through text ran: “You’re another year older. Thanks for all that your priesthood has shared to my family. Your priesthood made possible unbelievable things in my life. Your priesthood is both a miracle and a mystery. I’m sure it did so many great things to other souls, too. A lot of times you may be sad also. But as you often tell me, God suffices. Don’t forget that every time I remember you, I also say a little prayer. It’s because you taught me how to love life, to love, to love more and to love a little more.” That text message caused some kind of a feeling of relief to surge within me. It certainly is great to have people say that I have been making such impact on their lives. With such words, people might consider me successful as a priest. But for me there is no such thing as ‘successful priesthood’. Using the words of Blessed Mother Teresa of Calcutta, God did not call me to be a successful priest. When he called me to be his own, all he asked of me was to be faithful to him through thick and thin. For it is only on ‘faithful times’ that my priesthood can be meaningful.

How has my four years been like? Forty days at the Bishop’s Residence, two years five months and 12 days as assistant parish priest in San Nicolas, one year five months and six days as Prefect of Disciple at St. Mary’s Seminary. I smile when I remember how my humble word or silence, or action or non-action made a difference in a person’s life. I sigh of regret when I remember those times when I could have done better but didn’t. I strike by breast and say mea culpa as scenes from my life that I am not happy about flash in my mind. How I wish I could relive those wasted or unfaithful times and live up to what I promised – that I would feed God’s sheep. But what’s done is done. I cannot go on regretting and sulking; I have to forgive myself for the times I failed God, for the times I hurt people, for the times I hurt you. I believe this is what celebrating anniversaries is all about. I get to start all over again with a renewed spirit and fresh vigor. I am given a second shot at living a meaningful priesthood. And what’s more, I have you all to help me.

I realized more and more in my four years that priesthood is really about listening. Listening to God, listening to people, listening to myself – in that order. Yes, I have to listen to the feelings and emotions, dreams and aspirations, needs and wishes of other people even before I listen to my own. I have to put myself in their shoes to feel what they feel, to share their dreams, to understand their need. This is the beginning of charity. This must be the only way towards a faithful, meaningful priesthood. A priest who doesn’t know how to listen wouldn’t know how to live his priesthood. A priest who doesn’t listen will never be a good priest. Such priest will only think of himself, of his own feelings and emotions, dreams and aspirations, needs and wishes. He will not talk kindly and will raise his voice at the littlest irritation. He will not care whether people get hurt with his words because he thinks he is always right or even has the monopoly of truth. I am afraid that when I look at myself in the mirror, I’d be looking at such priest. I think it’s this inability to listen as I should or in the order above that has largely caused the wastage and unfaithfulness in my priestly life. Perhaps, by listening less and less to myself, I’d grow in the thought that what is great about priestly life is not what people do for me but what I do for them.

Thank you all for celebrating this great day with me. But allow me to thank foremost my parents. I owe them my life; there is no Fr. Tom without them. The person who texted me said, “You taught me how to love life, to love, to love more and to love a little more.” I would not have been able to teach people about love if I had not first felt it from and seen it in my parents. They are people who truly know how to listen and do listen. I thank Fr. Lester, Fr. JV, Sr. Catalina, the teachers, the personnel and the seminarians for this great journey together. My gratitude, too, goes to my relatives and friends for teaching me about life in many ways.

My priesthood is what I make it. Please continue praying for me especially that I may always have that listening attitude like the Blessed Mother’s and make each day of my priestly life count. (St. Mary's Seminary, Laoag City, November 21, 2007)